Fire and Ice
by SheWhoWalksWithThee
Summary: (WIP, may be retitled, currently having difficulty with formatting) Follow the adventures of Aang, Toph, Zuko, and Katara two years after the war as they struggle to navigate a broken world while also dealing with changes in their lives, friendships, and relationships.
1. Prologue

_We were just a bunch of kids who had to save the world. What did we know about love?_

He was madly in love with her. He knew she belonged with him. They had shared so much together, all of their highs and lows, regrets and dreams, weaknesses and strengths. They were _made_ for each other.

He had found the perfect betrothal necklace. He had picked the perfect date. The night was perfect, and their costumes were perfect, and everything was just...perfectly _perfect._

It never occurred to him that she might say "no."


	2. Peace is Just a Word

It was the second Harmony Festival, the second anniversary of the fall of Ozai. The azure sky was clear, the air was crisp, and the orange Sun was blazing its way toward the horizon. The celebration was going off without a hitch. It was going so well, in fact, that it was held over into its second day. Seems the people couldn't get enough of celebrating an anniversary of their freedom.

The Harmony Festival is a celebration of peace and diversity, but its attendees were largely Fire Nation. This continued to baffle Team Avatar, who assumed most of the nation would still be loyal to the previous Fire Lord and his politics. A lot can change in the space of two years, but it would be understandable if the citizens had not quite adjusted to the younger Fire Lord and his benevolent way. It would take a lot longer than two years to smooth over a century of tyranny.

The members of Team Avatar were now two years older and ten years wiser. Sokka and Suki had been tending to the Earth Kingdom, helping rebuild the kingdom and implement new security measures with Ty Lee and the other Kyoshi Warriors. Aang, Katara, and Toph had been spending considerable time in the Fire Nation, trying to hold the country together as it adjusted to its new rule. Zuko had been hard at work restructuring political and military policy. He had considered creating a peace army to aid the most war-torn areas, but his friends convinced him it might not be well-received. "Knock-knock, hi, I know I wanted to kill you before, but I'm here to help you now," Aang had commented.

Cheerful chatter filled the air around them as day melted into night. Aang heaved a sigh as he spied the full moon beginning to rise. As moonlight crowned the darkness, the flora of the night started to wake and release their scents. When the breeze picked up, it carried with it the playful and delicate scents of fire lilies mixed with robust ceremonial incense. There was nothing more perfect than this. He knew she must say "yes."

The teenage Avatar fumbled in his robes and carefully withdrew a little cloth pouch. He checked on Katara out of the corner of his eye. The beautiful waterbender was immersed in the crowd, surrounded by eager young citizens who could never tire of hearing about her adventures. Anxiety started to trickle into Aang's heart—it would only be a short time before Fire Lord Zuko would deliver his closing speech, the celebration would conclude, and the young Avatar would have missed the opportunity to propose to the love of his life.

"Aang!" The Southern Water Tribe girl was heading towards him. "There are some kids here who would really love to hear your stories."

"Katara!" he almost yelped. He lunged forward and took her hand with a nervous grin. "I'll meet them later. There's something we have to do first."

"Okay," she replied hesitantly, spotting a glimmer of fear in his eyes and wondering whether she should be excited or wary. Katara let the airbender lead her away from the crowd to the far end of the palace gardens. They came to a decorated bench placed under the open sky, with a trellis of fire lilies behind them and a sparkling pond ahead. Brilliant moonlight danced on the surface of the water. Katara breathed a sigh as she gazed.

Aang studied her as she closed her eyes and allowed him a moment alone with his panic. He fumbled with his thoughts, struggling to figure out the proper way to do this. "Katara," he said, rousing her. She fixed her sapphire eyes on him. The Avatar reached out from behind and presented her with a cloth pouch. "What's this?" asked Katara with a puzzled look.

He left it in her hand as he gingerly untied the pouch, then pulled out a carved necklace and held it up to her.

* * *

"Aang...?" the waterbender started, holding his gaze and trying not to look at the necklace. Her heart beat hard in her chest; she was sure she could even feel it in her throat. Katara tried her best to appear baffled, but she knew exactly where this was going.

Aang held out the betrothal necklace, with smooth wooden beads and an intricately carved crescent moon, from which a crimson tassel hung. "Katara," he began in an unsteady voice, "I feel like I've waited my whole life to say this, and I can't wait another minute. I love you with all my heart. I know we're meant to be together."

Katara found herself in a daze, taken aback by the beauty and detail of the necklace and the heartfelt gesture behind she looked back to Aang and traced the next words his lips made, fear shot through her veins like ice water.

"Katara, will you marry me?"

She was sure her heart must have stopped. _Marriage...!_ Katara ceased to hear anything but those five words humming through her mind like an angry buzzard-wasp. She was frozen, unable to think or respond for many long minutes. _Marriage...?!_

Katara loved Aang. They were best friends. They went through hell and back together, lived and laughed and fought and won for each other. But..._marriage?_ That was something else entirely. That was a universe away from them. She loved him, but...

"Aang," she said when she finally mustered a voice, "I can't do this." She placed the necklace in his hands and folded his fingers around it. She held her hand atop his for a moment and squeezed. Tears trickled down her cheeks as she whispered, "I'm sorry, Aang."

Katara saw the light leave his eyes when Aang stared down at their hands. Just as his face started to wrench into grief, an obscure expression glazed over. He pulled his hand out from hers and let his arm drop to his side. Aang wouldn't spare another look at her as he picked up his glider and walked out of the palace gardens. A few minutes later, Katara saw his silhouette pass over the full moon, dragging a small cloud over it and dimming the night. She threw her gaze back down and sighed, wiping a falling tear. After a few more moments, she stood up, brushed off her skirt, and continued back into the crowd.

* * *

"Hey, where's Twinkletoes?" asked Toph when Katara fell in beside her. "Zuko's about to start."

She heard a deep sigh from the waterbender. "He's...out for a walk."

"_Now_ is when he takes a walk?" Toph started to ask, but caught herself when she noticed the stress in Katara's voice and ground vibrations. She detected anxiety and a hint of deception, but decided against pressing the matter. She'll find out sooner or later.

The crowd roared when Zuko ascended the stage, then quickly fell silent with anticipation. She heard the rustling of the scroll and the clearing of his throat. After the first few sentences, Toph tuned it out. It was the same speech he gave last year, and would probably be the same the next. Zuko had many strengths, but creativity was not one of them.

All the buzzwords hit Toph's ear: "peace," "love," "balance." She'd heard them enough times coming from Aang. Sometimes it still surprised her to hear them come from Zuko. He repeated his promises that the Fire Nation would atone for its sins and would never return to tyranny. He highlighted the progress they'd made thus far and the milestones they've yet to achieve. Toph started tuning back in when she could hear the Fire Lord reaching his conclusion. She couldn't help but smile when the passion in his voice took her back in time to the end of the war. It was their little gang that was responsible for ending a war that had been waged for a hundred years, while no adults could even make a dent in it. Toph gave a sigh of nostalgic satisfaction. Somehow, that felt like a lifetime ago.

Suddenly, her wistful mind snapped back to reality when Toph noticed some distinct vibrations through the ground. While the crowd had mostly been standing in one place, she felt a few jerking steps stealthily weaving their way through. The earthbender threw her senses into the ground to focus on the footsteps. They were light and agile, barely detectable were it not for their rapid movements that drew her attention. They were now such a distance away that she couldn't tell how many there were, but it seemed like more kept coming. Toph did notice they all had one thing in common: they were all darting towards the stage.


	3. When Tomorrow Comes

Tears threatened to fill Zuko's eyes as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause when he finished his Harmony Festival speech. He rolled up the scroll, passed it to one of his sages, and returned for a bow. It wasn't long ago that he would have been unable to imagine a crowd ever _cheering_ for him. For much of his young life, he had been legally considered a traitor to the Fire Nation for nothing more than insulting his father. Zuko had been disgraced and was in fear for his life from all nations, especially his own.

And now?

Now, he was their leader, and they accepted him, and they _honoured_ him.

Zuko was proud—of his people, of his world, of himself. He had long doubted whether there was any good left in the Fire Nation save for his uncle. He couldn't imagine that there was any good left in _himself._ Now, he and the Avatar had the world back on the right track, and they couldn't be prouder.

Fire Lord Zuko scanned the crowd before taking another bow. He looked back to his sage, who nudged his head towards the palace. Zuko nodded and started following him inside. As he turned his back to the crowd, one cry in particular reached him. He started to turn back to the caller when something exploded before him. Clouds of smoke surrounded the stage, and Zuko lost sight of the caller, the crowd...and everything else. Another explosion of smoke, and something barreled into him, knocking the air out of his lungs. As Zuko fought for a breath and flailed against his invisible attacker, suddenly a cold fire surged through his veins. The Fire Lord cried out with the last of his breaths. Burning, numbing pain ripped through his body and seemed to cluster in his chest. His vision and breaths were quickly leaving him, but somewhere on the fringes of his mind he captured her fearful cry.

_"Zuko!"_

* * *

He remembered blurred sapphire orbs. A glowing light above him. Warmth throughout his body. The thick pain settling in his chest, holding back his gasps for air. The numbness pulsing through him, rendering him unable to move. The moments he spent wondering if he could even remember how.

He could feel the warmth working its way through him. He could feel it pulsing, throbbing, getting caught on its way. It circled around the tightness in his chest. His breaths kept catching in his throat. The warmth couldn't penetrate the tightness. It would have to try again tomorrow.

* * *

It was soothing in a painful kind of way. He didn't open his eyes. He was afraid to witness what was happening. He could feel the warmth working in his chest again. Somewhere beyond him there was a strained sigh. The warmth pulsated, seemed to start beating through his chest now. It beat faster, harder. He wondered if it matched his heartbeat.

Suddenly, it felt like the elephant-bear had been lifted off his chest, and he was able to draw in a solid breath. His lungs were not used to a full breath yet, and he started to cough, which set his body on fire. Someone somewhere beyond him shushed, and placed a hand gently on his chest to nudge him back down. The warmth radiated freely through his body now, seemingly victorious about defeating the tightness. He couldn't tell anymore whether it felt better or worse. He tried to focus on "better."

* * *

Zuko wasn't sure how much time had passed before he had the strength to open his eyes. The warmth no longer beat through his body; now, everything felt stiff and fragile. He couldn't tell how much time he missed. It could have been anywhere from hours to years. He admitted to himself that he felt a hundred years older.

His vision was blurred for several troubling moments. He kept trying to blink away the bleariness to no avail. It was only when he caught sight of a figure beside him that he could begin to focus his eyes.

"Katara?" he mumbled quizzically.

She turned her sapphire eyes on him, and seemed stunned for a moment. Suddenly, she broke into a smile. "Zuko," she gasped, leaning down to lightly hug him. "You're okay."

The ache in his bones seemed to suggest otherwise, but Zuko didn't have the energy to contest. "What are you doing here?" he murmured hoarsely. "What happened?"

Her face contorted with worry. "You were attacked at the festival," she replied. There was more Katara wanted to say, but only whispered, "It was bad."

* * *

Katara easily remembered the festival last week. The celebration. The joy of its attendees. The heartbreak between her and Aang. And the attempt on Zuko's life.

Toph had given her a hard nudge and said something, but the roar of the audience swallowed her words. Minutes later, a small, lithe group stormed the stage and attacked the Fire Lord, and then Katara knew what Toph had tried to tell her. Panic flooded Katara, and she made a beeline for the stage. She yelled back for Toph to find Aang as she rushed to Zuko's side. The palace guardians leapt into action and held off the attackers while Katara tended to the Fire Lord. A Fire Sage ushered her and the wounded firebender into the palace for safety.

The last several days had been agonising. Katara's patience and healing abilities were put to the ultimate test. The damage was bad, to say the least, and there were many times Katara was sure her friend wouldn't survive. But still she persisted, sending the healing water along his wounds, imbuing him with healing chi. She had come across several deadly blockages in his arms and especially around his heart, and struggled to release them. Katara only wished she knew what had been done to him.

The waterbender gave a hard blink, and tried to put the terrible event from her mind. Zuko was here and he was awake, and nothing else mattered. He longed to ask her more about what had happened, but she put a warm cloth on his forehead to hold him still. Katara shushed him, held his hand, and calmly threatened that she would never tell him if he didn't just shut up and try to get some rest. Zuko chuckled softly, which turned into a painful coughing fit. Katara readied her healing water and circulated it over his chest, opening his airways and steadying his breathing. Closing his eyes, he sighed his surrender. Katara sighed too, and rubbed his hand.


	4. The Valley of the Stars

He found himself no longer sure how long he had been sitting under the banyan-grove tree. He had forgotten how long he had been staring into the distance, replaying visions of Katara. He came out here to let her go, but whenever he looked up between meditations, he would see her again, and his heart would break again.

Visions danced in the fog around him, showing Aang again and again his first kiss with Katara, their first dance, even the first time he had ever laid eyes on her. Her soft skin, gentle eyes, and loving smile were all permanently etched in his mind—perhaps sewn into the very fabric of his existence. It anguished him to think that it was all over.

Aang kept trying to pack away these visions, but every time he would start to seal them, they would burst forth and assail him, and he would find tears in his eyes all over again. He gave up this attempt, and decided to close his eyes and try to get some sleep. He took a deep breath, and let his mind fade to black.

"Aang?" an echo came somewhere in the back of his mind. It called again. "Aang!"

The Avatar's eyes flew open to find a slim figure in the distance, carefully crossing a tangle of thick roots. The figure stopped and cried his name again.

Aang squinted and tried to discern the figure. She was still far from him, but he made out the blue attire and long, dark hair. His heart leapt jubilantly and he couldn't spring to his feet fast enough. "Katara!" the Avatar exclaimed, rushing towards her. "Katara, I can't believe you're—" Suddenly, Aang skidded on the dewy grass, and went hurtling into the young woman. Both yelped as they tumbled to the ground. "Hey, what's your problem?"

"Sorry, Katara, I—" Aang gasped and lurched backwards when the girl stood and began brushing herself off.

"Don't you ever watch where you're going?" grumbled Toph.

Aang's mind went numb. His heart squeezed, threatening to break once more. "What are you doing here?" he asked sourly, turning away from her.

"Good to see you too, Sunshine," she replied. Toph moved to face him, and seemed to actually meet his eyes. Aang was stricken by the emotion in her face. For once in her life, she looked..._worried._ "What are you doing all the way out here?"

The Avatar heaved a sigh. "I just...had some stuff to work out."

"What was suddenly so important that you had to leave in the middle of the festival?"

"Katara broke up with me, okay?!" Aang burst out. He paused for a moment, and studied the earthbender for a reaction. She didn't flinch, but her expression seemed to sadden. Aang continued in a softer, almost apologetic tone, "I'm going through a lot right now, and I just want to be left alone."

Toph was silent for a few minutes, never taking her eyes off Aang. "I'm sorry," she murmured.

Exhaustion was starting to overwhelm the Avatar, and he sat down on the ground and dropped his head into his hands. Toph came down beside him and pressed close to him. Neither would speak for quite some time.


	5. Here Comes the Rain Again

_ "This isn't really working, is it?"_

_Zuko pried his eyes from his paperwork and focused on her. "What isn't working?" he asked as he tried to blink away the mathematical figures still floating in his vision._

_The nonbender sighed, dropping herself onto the crimson lounge. "Us," Mai said, her normally plain, emotionless face scrunched into distress. _

_The Fire Lord frowned at her. This again? It seemed like every other day, his girlfriend was fretting about their relationship. "Mai, can this wait 'til later? I'm trying to work out these new formation plans."_

"_Whatever," she grumbled, pulling out one of her blades. "That's all you ever care about lately." She absentmindedly dragged her fingertip over the blunted side of her dagger. Mai flung it back into its holster on her wrist and threw herself off the lounge. "Why don't you just marry your work while you're at it?"_

_Zuko let out an exasperated huff and slammed down his papers. "What is it with you?" He rose from the table and whirled to face her. _

_ Mai met his eyes squarely as she veiled her expression once more. Her voice had become as cool as the look in her eyes. "Well, excuse me for wanting a little attention every now and then. Your plants get more attention than I do."_

"_That's because all I have to do is water them once a day, and they'll shut up!" Zuko stepped back and clipped a sigh as he tried to rein in his temper. "What is it you want, Mai?"_

_The shift in Zuko's response caught her off-guard. She also loosened her anger a little bit and looked away from him. "I don't know," Mai admitted softly, sitting back on the lounge. "I'm just...sick of being stuck in this awful castle while you get to go out and play." _

"_What?" growled Zuko, his lips getting caught between a grin and a snarl. He gave a breath of a chuckle. "You think this is fun for me? Trying to figure out how to put the country back together after my father and grandfather screwed it up? Trying to prove to the world that we're different now than we were a year ago?" He threw his gaze away from her and fell quiet for several moments. "I'm under a tremendous amount of pressure and responsibility. I would think that you could respect that."_

"_I _do_ respect that, but Zuko, you have a responsibility to me, too." Mai mentally cringed as soon as the words left her tongue. She knew what a terrible response that was._

_ Zuko's eyes widened, and he studied her for several moments._

"_That's not what I meant," she said hurriedly, and tried to frame it more gently. "I just mean that—"_

_Zuko sighed heavily, letting his nerves relax a tad. "I know what you mean, Mai." He didn't, really, so he searched her face for clues. She tried to keep her expression indiscernible, but he knew better. The desolation in her grey eyes was subtle but unmistakable. "You feel neglected, and I understand that, but I don't know what I can do about it."_

"_We could take a vacation," she said hopefully, putting her hand on his shoulder and attempting to nudge him closer._

_ Zuko paused and considered this for a minute, but the list of responsibilities kept cluttering his thoughts. He shrugged off her hand and turned back to his desk. "_You_ can take a vacation," he replied curtly. He sat down before his paperwork and resumed studying the figures._

_Behind him came an irritated groan. "Fine." There were several minutes of rustling and shuffling and angry footsteps crossing the room. Zuko snuck a glance over his shoulder to see his girlfriend hastily grabbing her stuff. He heard her throw her knapsack over her shoulder and head to the door._

"_Where are you going?" Zuko called, immediately feeling regretful._

_At first, Mai was silent, and Zuko almost wondered if she'd heard him. "My parents'," she replied flatly before slipping through the door._

_ He heaved an infuriated sigh, and stared at his papers. The mathematical figures might as well have been dancing on the page; Zuko's mind was a world away. His heart began to ache as their fight echoed through his head, and the stumbling evolution of their relationship unfurled before him. The two teenagers were no strangers to arguments—it felt like they'd fought every other week for the past several years. But they had long ago decided to give no credit to their fights and to assign them no ultimate meaning or consequence. They'd yell at each other, storm around and stamp their feet, and then resume their relationship as normal, quickly forgetting the bitter words exchanged and the sour feelings evoked. Zuko, however, never forgot all the bitter words and sour feelings passed between them. As much as he loved Mai and treasured their bond, he always knew it must be a matter of time before all the negativity they shared would suddenly stack up and topple over. Arguments were an inevitable part of their relationship, and each time, the young Fire Lord wondered if it would be their last._

_ But Mai had never left before. Usually it would go like this: they would fight over some ridiculous thing or another, they'd puff out their chests and stand their ground, but within a few minutes or a few hours, they'd end up deflating. They might spend a few hours apart and sulk individually, but they'd be back together afterwards. There might be apologies, there might not—it didn't really matter to them. Their truce would be apology enough._

_But Mai had never left before. She would sulk on the lounge, or in her room, or in the gardens, but she would still be there and would still be with him. Zuko almost felt naked, felt raw and numb and cold. Only fifteen minutes had passed, but Mai's absence was burning into him. Zuko gave a hard blink to clear his head, and stared at his papers again. He tried to put their fight from his mind, but it kept rushing back. Zuko released a frustrated grunt and brought his fist down hard upon the desk. After a hiss of pain, he buried his face in his reddened hand. He kept chasing away bad thoughts, but they kept returning fivefold. Scenes from their childhood, friendship, and relationship rolled through his mind. Somewhere behind the scenes—somewhere behind the memories—a small voice told him that Mai was gone._

* * *

Zuko suddenly sucked in a breath, startling both himself and the young woman beside him. His eyes flew open to find Katara hastily readying a stream of healing water. "Zuko," she sighed when he regained a stable breath. She bent the water back into its pouch and set it aside. "You scared me."

He scoffed. "Scared _me,_" he laughed, relishing in the absence of pain. He forgot what it was like to breathe, let alone laugh, without being sent into an episode of agony. His body still felt stiff, but it didn't feel like it could shatter at any moment, and for that he was grateful. He carefully brought his hand to his forehead, imagining his joints might sound like grinding metal. "How long was I out?"

Katara's face was gentle as she responded, "Some time." After a thought, she admitted, "A couple of weeks."

"Wow," Zuko murmured, absently running his hand down his face and flinching in surprise when his fingers were met with coarse hair.

"Long enough to start a beard," Katara remarked playfully.

He toyed with his beginner's beard for a few seconds, humorously imagining a royal portrait of him with a full beard. Then, the injured Fire Lord leaned forward and tried to rise. Katara held his arm and slowly guided him to a sitting position. "You okay?" she asked before releasing him.

"Yeah," Zuko grunted, taking a deep breath and letting his body catch up. He blinked hard, visually devouring his surroundings as if for the first time. His room was still and glowing red as the rising Sun lit up the various crimson effects. Paperwork was stacked neatly on his desk, waiting patiently for his return. On a small table against the window stood several bottles of various medicines and Fire Sage potions. It looked as if they had been hurriedly shoved to the far end of the table to make room for Katara's healing water. Knowing her, Zuko was surprised the bottles hadn't ended up broken on the floor.

"Do you think you're ready to stand?" asked Katara, studying his face and the halting movement of his limbs. She leaned over to lend her arm.

Zuko hissed a breath as he rolled his weight forward, taking her arm more desperately than he'd have liked. "Just a second," he muttered. His eyes accidentally met hers as he was readying himself, and it was then that the reality of the situation set in. The Fire Lord had been seriously injured. Without Katara, he would be dead. She saved his life, and here she was, still committed to his care. Zuko found himself gazing at her in admiration. Her azure eyes glittered with concern. Her features were relaxed but focused. The thinly-veiled exhaustion in her face told Zuko that she must not have left his side since the attack. He became acutely aware of the strength of her presence, not merely as friend but as defender, and he felt humbled that such a fierce warrior should swear herself to his side.

He braced himself and let go of her arm, determined that he should rise to his feet himself. Zuko pushed himself slowly off the bed and wobbled to his feet. When he started to stagger, Katara was quick against his side. He resisted leaning on the young woman at first, but he still had little strength of his own. "I'm not hurting you, am I?" asked Zuko, trying to shift his weight independently.

"Don't worry about it," she replied. "Let's just get you out to the parlour."

Carefully, they made their way through the long hall and into the next room. What was normally a moment's trip seemed to take half an hour. Zuko was prickling with frustration; he could only imagine how annoyed Katara must have been, but she was never anything less than supportive. Finally, they found the parlour, and Katara helped him down onto a velvet chaise. He sank onto the daybed with a long groan, a combination of pain, stiffness, and disappointment in his diminished abilities. The waterbender came down beside him and helped him adjust his posture. She grabbed a couple of pillows and laid them against his back. "Is this okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," Zuko sighed as he leaned back. He caught her eyes and smiled appreciatively. "Thanks."

They sat together in silence for a small time. Zuko's breathing sometimes still came in harshly, and he noticed Katara tense up every time his breath caught in his throat. She avoided staring at him, but he knew that she was closely monitoring his condition and his movements. Suddenly, Zuko was stricken by the fact that she was still with him. "Why are you still here?" he asked.

She looked at him, and furrowed an eyebrow in question. "What do you mean?"

"Shouldn't you be out there with Aang?"

* * *

Katara froze, unable to answer and unable to meet his eyes. She could feel Zuko's gaze burning into her as he awaited her response. She ran her finger along the velvet arm of the chaise before finally saying, "He's been busy." Katara hoped that would be answer enough, but when Zuko didn't reply, she added delicately, "We decided to spend some time apart."

"Oh." Something in his voice, and the fact that he didn't press her further, seemed to indicate an understanding. When Katara glanced at him, his eyes were gentle and almost sympathetic. "Well," he began with a small smile, "I'm glad you're here. Thank you, Katara."

She mirrored his smile, and felt her eyes start to moisten. She threw her gaze down to her feet before a tear could form. "You're welcome, Zuko," she murmured.


	6. The Walk

Toph was ready to scream in frustration. It felt like she and Aang had been sitting in silence for ages. _How much longer does he need to pout? Jeesh!_ "Aang?" she quietly prodded, gripping his shoulder lightly.

The Avatar stirred abruptly, and lifted his head from his knees. "What?" he asked in a surprisingly stable voice, trying to fool Toph into thinking he had not fallen asleep.

"Are you ready to go back?"

He sighed heavily and looked away from her. "I don't know."

"Well, how much more time do you need?"

"I don't know!" he growled. He looked at her now, and the anger in his eyes quickly melted away to desperation. "Sorry," he muttered.

She gave a slight grin. "It's okay; I understand. It's gotta be tough."

"I just..." Aang gave a combination of a sniffle and a gasp. "I just thought we'd always be together."

"So did I," remarked Toph in earnest, stunned to think of a time when Aang and Katara wouldn't be a package.

"What went wrong?" he muttered.

"We grew up."

Aang ignored her and went on. "We seemed so perfect together. It made so much sense to me."

Toph leaned forward to study him for several seconds. "Maybe that's the problem," she said, watching his expression closely.

Finally, he looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Aang, just because it made sense to you doesn't mean it made sense to her."

Something glazed over his eyes, and Toph struggled to read his face. She searched his expression for clues to his thoughts and emotions, but came up empty. She continued cautiously, "I mean...maybe it didn't mean as much to her as it did to you. You loved her, but did _she_ love _you?_"

"Yeah," he replied strongly. After a moment, his voice seemed to falter. "I know she did," Aang murmured, more to himself than to Toph. "Why else would we have been together?"

Toph stared at him as she assembled her thoughts. "Well, things change. People grow up." Becoming confident of her next words, Toph let herself relax a notch. "Think about it, Aang: we were _kids._ We were just a bunch of stupid kids who had to stop a war. We didn't have time to think about what we wanted. We were too young to even _know_ what we wanted." She looked over to see Aang staring out into the distance as he processed what she had said. His face wrinkled, then smoothed; his eyebrows furrowed, then relaxed; his mouth started working a response, then stopped. Finally, Aang's shoulders dropped in defeat, and when he met her eyes, his face looked forlorn and empty. "Maybe you're right," he replied in a small voice. "Maybe it wasn't real."

Her eyes widened, and she almost lurched forward as if to stop his thought. "Don't do that to yourself, Aang. It _was_ real; we all felt it. But...maybe it just wasn't meant to be forever."

"Yeah, maybe," Aang sighed, and forced himself to chuckle. "I mean, what are the odds of marrying the first girl you've ever seen?"

Toph chuckled too. "Pretty slim, I would say." She watched as his expression gradually relaxed. "You'll get through this, Aang; I know you will."

A sliver of sorrow shone in his eyes. "It doesn't feel like it."

"I know." Toph snorted as she recalled the past. "Remember that crush I had on Sokka? I was downright crazy about him. When I finally realised that Sokka and I were never gonna happen, I felt so crappy and so silly, but I got past it."

"How?"

Toph was quiet for a second as she pulled forth her memories. "Well, it took a while to get over it, actually. But I started to realise that we still had a good friendship, and that was all we needed." She pulled on his shoulder to make him meet her gaze. "You and Katara have a past, and you still have a future as friends, and no one can take that away from you."

Aang's lips hesitantly stretched into a smile, and the look in his eyes softened. "Thanks, Toph." There was still uncertainty and sorrow, but he looked significantly less troubled.

The earthbender let go of his shoulder and started to her feet. "We need to go back," she said rather suddenly. "There's been some stuff going on out there."

"What stuff?" he asked as he took her hand and rose to his feet, straightening out his robes.

"At the festival." Toph paused, debating whether to tell him the truth now or wait for him to find out for himself.

"What stuff?" the Avatar prodded, stress returning to his voice.

"Bad guys crashed the party. Zuko was attacked. The usual." She struggled to maintain her nonchalance, but her heart started racing as she recalled the events—the intruders, the smoke, the panic in Katara's voice, the alarming stillness of the Fire Lord's body.

"What?!" Aang almost yelled. "Let's go!"

"It's about time," Toph muttered before falling in behind Aang as he raced to the edge of the grove.

"How do we get out of here?" panted Toph, struggling to keep up with him.

"I know the way," he called back. He led her through the misty grove, over thick, gnarled roots and under glistening canopies of weeds and branches. Finally, Aang stopped in a still clearing. Spiritual sunlight beamed through the trees, illuminating the tiny particles of dust and mist. The Avatar sat down and brought his fists together. Toph watched with awe as his tattoos started to light up, and the swamp seemed to hum to life. Ribbons of fog swirled around him, and Toph saw Aang's memories dance on the mist. She watched the scenes of Aang and Katara, studying their faces and practically feeling the emotions passed between them. The earthbender felt a pang of jealousy that she had not yet had such a bond. She tore her eyes away and focused on Aang, whose tattoos glowed brighter as the memories on the mist seemed to glare. "Aang?" she said, her voice trembling. The entire swamp was shaking now, and the spiritual energy was heavy in the air. Toph's skin tingled, and the spots of sunlight danced wildly around them. "Aang...!" She lunged forward and gripped the Avatar's shoulder, hoping to rouse him from whatever bad thing might have possessed him. Heat surged through her hand and arm, but she couldn't break herself away from him. Toph looked up, and noticed that now the scenes from the Avatar's mind were starting to break apart. As the spirit swamp shook, the memories on the mist crumbled away, and the Avatar's glow was blinding. Toph tightened her grip on his shoulder just as the world around them exploded in light.

* * *

The smell of fresh, dewy grass filled her nose, stirring her mind awake. The chatter of various little creatures echoed in the distance of the swamp. Darkness had fallen back over her eyes, and she knew they had returned.

"Aang?" She prodded the boy beside her, and he also stirred to consciousness.

"I'm awake," he said quickly, and leaned forward to rise. Toph took his hand as he then pulled her to her feet. She staggered for a moment, collecting herself and her senses. The sudden need to rely upon her earthbending again was dizzying. When she was finally steady on her feet, she turned to Aang. "We have to get back to the palace."

"Was everyone okay?"

Toph was quiet for a minute. "I don't know," she said weakly. "Zuko was in pretty bad shape when I left. It's been a couple weeks, and..." She trailed off, refusing to entertain whatever theory might come next. In an attempt to be optimistic, she added, "Katara's been with him, so I'm sure he's—"

"Katara's with Zuko?" Aang cut in. Toph tried to discern his mood, but his voice was smooth and flat. She immediately regretted having mentioned his ex-girlfriend and the Fire Lord in the same sentence, and could only imagine what must have been churning through Aang's mind now. Toph grabbed his arm and started leading him away, as if to also lead him away from his thoughts. "Let's just get out of here."

* * *

It was evening when they returned to the Fire Lord's palace. Aang's heart dropped when he saw that the gardens still bore signs of the attack. The ground was scuffed and burnt, and the stage Zuko had stood upon was torn apart. The attack had been nearly three weeks ago, but the fear was very fresh. The air was still, eerily so—Aang could almost feel the anxiety and anticipation of another attack. He found himself very aware and cautious of where he stepped, even though his earthbending told him the coast was clear. "What happened out here?"

"I'm not exactly sure," replied Toph. "I felt a bunch of people rushing through the crowd and homing in on Zuko. There was a commotion. Zuko screamed. Katara screamed. Everyone screamed." Toph paused as the memories came to the fore of her mind. "I don't know what happened after that. Katara sent me to find you while she went up to help. I don't know who it was, or why, or what happened to Zuko." Fear tugged at her heart, and Toph quickly tried to shift her thoughts.

Aang and Toph continued through the scarred gardens to the grand front doors of the Fire Lord's palace. Before Aang even had the chance to knock, a palace guardian appeared and stood in front of him defiantly. When he noticed the Avatar's tattoos, he bowed his apology and stepped aside. Aang asked him to bring them to Zuko. A Fire Sage came and led them inside, dropping them off in the foyer as he promised to fetch the Fire Lord.

A few minutes later, a tall figure in crimson robes came limping into the foyer, a crutch on one side and Katara on the other. Aang quickly averted his gaze when the waterbender neared.

"You found him," she said to Toph as she guided the Fire Lord to a chair. Aang snuck a glance when Katara had her back to him. When Zuko was settled, she turned to Aang. "Where have you been?" she demanded, but her voice was tired and troubled.

Aang ignored her and asked the firebender, "How are you holding up?"

Zuko groaned perfectly on cue, and leaned back to show the bandages around his chest and abdomen. "I feel like hell," he chuckled. "But I'm still kicking." Aang tried not to notice the appreciation in Zuko's eyes when he exchanged glances with Katara, and he tried not to notice the jealousy boiling in the pit of his stomach.

"Well," he began, struggling to keep his tone positive, "I'm glad you're doing better."


	7. Anything But Strong

"Who were those people, anyway?" Toph asked, breaking the tense silence that ensued. "What did they do to you?"

Zuko carefully took a breath as he collected his memories. "I...I'm not sure, exactly." He gave a quick laugh. "You're going to think this is crazy, but...it almost felt like my insides were tied into knots. Like the veins in my arms and chest were just knotted up, and I couldn't move."

A chill ran through Katara when she heard his description. "Knots?" She shared a horrified glance with Aang. "That sounds like bloodbending."

"It _was_ a full moon," Aang pointed out.

Toph scoffed. "Wait, I thought the only bloodbender out here was Hama."

Katara furrowed her brows. "Maybe not." She turned to Zuko, whose quizzical gaze passed from Aang to her. "There could be more bloodbenders with a grudge against the Fire Nation."

A long pause followed as the team mulled over their theories. _Could it have been Hama?_ Katara wondered. _But she seems a little old to be involved in something like this. Could she have a gang?_

"So, what do we do now?" asked Toph.

"I can send my men out in search of the assailants," Zuko said.

"Weren't they sent out just after the attack?" Katara asked.

"They couldn't find anyone—"

Toph snorted. "That's some crack team you got there."

"—but they didn't search that far," Zuko finished, ignoring the remark. "I'll send them out farther, out to wherever this Hama was."

Aang shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. If it is Hama, then it'll just be like the Fire Nation is hunting her down again, and that won't go over well." His voice softened as he recalled Team Avatar's run-in with the aged bloodbender. "Besides, you don't know how powerful she is. She manipulated all of us at once."

Katara shivered, remembering all too well the betrayal of her tribeswoman. She could still feel the knots in her veins and the stiff, mechanical movement of her muscles as someone else controlled her like a puppet.

"We have to find the bloodbenders before the next full moon," Aang concluded. "Who knows what the next step will be?" He stood and turned to Katara. Toph had already risen beside him. "We'll have to start the search first thing in the morning." Aang looked at Katara expectantly.

She shook her head. "I have to stay here. If the bloodbenders return, I'm the only one who can take them."

The Avatar's eyes seemed to glint with sorrow, and he fell quiet.

"Katara," chuckled Zuko, wincing as he leaned forward to meet her eyes, "I'll be fine. I can handle myself."

"Not in _your_ condition," scoffed the waterbender. "I'm not taking any risks." To Aang, she asserted, "Go without me. I'll stay here and keep an eye on things."

Aang held her gaze for several moments, seemingly searching her eyes for an alternate answer. Finally, he nodded. "Okay, if you say so. Toph and I will head out and check the colonies first thing in the morning."

After another twenty minutes of light discussion, it was well into nighttime, and the group decided to disperse. Toph was the first to head out the door. Zuko summoned a sage, who ushered him back to his quarters. Aang and Katara stood alone in the foyer, lost in awkward silence. Katara watched him, trying to figure out the emotions in his face. He kept his expression obscure, except for the sadness still in his grey eyes. Finally, Katara stepped forward. "Aang, I—"

He held up his hand to stop her in her words. "Don't. Katara, _I'm_ sorry. I shouldn't have stormed off like that. I just..." Aang heaved a heavy sigh and let his shoulders drop. "I just didn't know how to handle this."

Katara eyed him carefully. "How _are_ you handling it?"

He paused, lowering his gaze and his voice. "It'll take some time."

"Are we okay?" asked the waterbender, leaning in to catch his gaze.

Aang stared at her, and let a small smile creep onto his lips. "Yeah. We're okay." He sat back down on the lounge. Katara followed suit, taking her seat across from him and waiting for him to continue. "I'm sorry about the proposal thing. I didn't mean to push you into anything. I...I thought we were ready." After a deep sigh, he murmured in a defeated voice, "I thought you wanted to be with me."

Hearing the defeat and desperation in the powerful Avatar's words made Katara's heart sink. In this moment, she longed to be able to take back the last few weeks. "I thought so, too. But..." She reached back into her mind, running through her thoughts and emotions throughout their relationship. She found herself struggling to identify a moment when she loved, truly _loved,_ the Avatar. There had been many times she loved being with him. She loved who he was—a gifted boy with a kind heart and a strong soul. Katara had great affection and admiration for him. But _love?_

"I think I just felt kind of obligated." Katara stifled a sigh as the words left her tongue. Finally, all the questions she struggled to answer and the feelings she couldn't discern came together. She wasn't in a relationship with Aang out of _love—it_ was out of a sense of _obligation._

Aang looked puzzled. "What do you mean by that?" he asked defensively.

The waterbender tried to cushion her response with a giggle. "Well, I was a kid. You were the Avatar. I felt honoured at first that you chose me. I was dazzled by it all, I guess—plus, there was a lot going on, and it was hard just keeping our heads on straight." Katara sighed. "As time went on, I just felt like I was in too deep, and..."

"Basically, you felt roped into a relationship," Aang offered.

"Well..." Katara hesitated, but couldn't think of a gentler way to put it. "Yeah."

"I'm sorry," Aang replied, furrowing his brows. "If I had any idea you felt that way—"

Katara shook her head. "It's okay. I'm just glad we're able to talk about this," she said with a smile.

"Me, too." He tried to reflect her smile, but there was still something troubling his face. "So...Zuko, huh?"

Katara raised a brow. "What about him?" she asked, angling her head and peering at him guardedly.

"You're with him now?"

The waterbender lurched backwards and gaped at him. _"What?"_ She wasn't sure whether she should be offended or amused. Her mind reeled at the accusation. "What the hell are you talking about?!" she yelped incredulously. "Are you out of your mind?"

Aang leapt to his feet defensively. "I see the way you two act and the way you two look. I know there's something going on between you."

Still she gaped at him, unable to believe what he was saying. "Are you out of your _mind?!"_ she repeated. "Zuko and I are just—how can you even _think—?!"_ Katara stammered helplessly for another minute until she finally collected herself. "What is wrong with you? Aang, the only reason I'm here is to help Zuko. He was almost _killed._ He's still in danger, and I'm the only one who can protect him. That's _it."_ Katara glared at him furiously, but inside she wanted to break down and cry. How could her best friend be so mistrustful of her? How could he think something so ridiculous?

They stared at each other, glared at each other, neither knowing where to go from there. Finally, Aang backed down. He took a few steps back, and softened his voice, but his words were still clipped with anger. "Fine. You're right; I'm sorry. It was a crazy thought." He stood awkwardly, shifting on his feet as if trying to work up something else to say. "Never mind," he muttered. "I should get going." He turned and shuffled towards the grand doors. A Fire Sage suddenly appeared to usher him out. "Good night," Aang said over his shoulder.

"Yeah," Katara huffed. "Good night."

* * *

_"Am I a monster, Katara?"_

_She looked up from the crackling fire and studied his face. She searched his eyes—they were the same eyes as all the other monsters, but there was something different in his. His amber eyes lit up like the fire before them, but they were softer and gentler than the flame. "You used to be."_

_The eyes. Those amber eyes. They haunted her childhood. And now she was surrounded by them._

_She, Aang, Sokka, and Toph had plunged into the heart of the Fire Nation, hiding in plain sight. It was the last place on Earth she wanted to be, surrounded by people who looked like the monster who killed her mother. _

_ Katara knew how important it was for them to be here, so she never let on how much it was destroying her. With every day that passed, every day that they remained in the Fire Nation, Katara felt more and more of herself being chipped away. She felt lost and bare, felt like she had been stripped of her Water Tribe identity. What was she without her necklace and traditional hairstyle? She might as well have just been one of _them.

_ She felt exposed and vulnerable—these were the same people who hunted her tribesmen down, and she always wondered if they would come for her next. Sometimes, she would try to assuage herself by thinking about what Aang must have been feeling. The Fire Nation took his entire race from him, and still he refused to let that skew his perception and judgment of them. There were good Fire Nation people—he had known a few. But Katara had never known a good firebender, and couldn't convince herself that it was possible. Even when she looked around at the children of the Fire Nation, all she could see were little monsters in the making. She hated when she thought like that. She knew they were as much victims in this war as she, but she also knew what they would become. After all, the monster who took her mother away from her was once a child._

_ Zuko's joining of the group was traumatic, to say the least, for Katara. She didn't know what to make of it. She didn't even know what to make of her feelings about it. She worried that the enemy had infiltrated her group. She knew she couldn't trust Zuko, not ever again. He had been the one firebender Katara thought might have been good, the one firebender she thought she could trust. In Ba Sing Se, she got the impression that he was as lost in this war as she—that he was a lost boy who didn't know how to find his way out of the mess his family created. Katara was sure he had it in his heart to do what was right and to break the cycle of terrorism and tyranny, but then he stood against her and betrayed her trust, and she was certain that nothing good could ever come from the Fire Nation._

_ Now Zuko was promising he changed, and seemed desperate to make her believe him. Aang, foolhardy optimist that he was, trusted the firebender's word, and Toph assured her that he was honest. But still Katara couldn't bring herself to trust him, or to forgive him for his crimes or the crimes of his people. The monster stole her mother's life, and Zuko stole her trust, and she was never going to let herself be vulnerable to a firebender again._

_ But then he offered to hunt down the monster for her. He struck a very sensitive chord, and she couldn't turn down the offer. Katara was skeptical, naturally. What was the Fire Lord's son up to this time? Would he lead her into an ambush? Or the opposite—lure her away so he could ambush and kill the Avatar? But Aang had faith in Zuko, and Katara trusted Aang's judgment, no matter how much she might have disagreed with it. Curiosity and a need for closure overrode her suspicions, and Katara took him up on his offer._

_ Her resentment had festered leading up to the confrontation. The closer they came, the more Katara played with thoughts of killing the monster. She had a few different methods figured out, from drowning him to stabbing him with ice daggers to squeezing his heart with bloodbending. The moon was full, the dark power of her ancestors pulsed through her veins, and she relished being in control of the monster's body. Katara wanted to end him that moment, but it didn't seem proper. She bent her silky stream of water into shards of glittering ice and menacingly held them over his head. Hatred surged through her, and she didn't know why she had paused. But as she suspended the ice over his shivering, cowering body, she remembered who she was, and she wasn't a killer. Something, the glint of terror in his amber eyes, reminded her of her mother. She imagined Kya must have had that same glint, and Katara suddenly saw herself as the kind of monster she'd spent her life despising. She let the ice darts melt and drench the monster, now reduced to nothing more than an empty, pitiful coward._

_ Katara and Zuko spent most of the night in silence. They lit a fire on the coast and huddled around it. Katara found herself lost, glaring into the flames, hypnotised by the element as she wondered how her mother had suffered at its hands._

"_Katara?" Zuko asked after a very long time. When she didn't answer, he inched towards her. "Are you okay?"_

_She tried to keep her eyes fixed on the fire, but finally looked at Zuko. She was silent at first, just staring at him absentmindedly. "I don't know." Her mind was blank—or, rather, she wished it were blank. So many thoughts and emotions filled her head, and she couldn't begin to sort through them. One emotion in particular stood out as she suddenly realised how drained and raw she felt. "I've spent my whole life hating that man. My whole life wanting to kill him, and I couldn't do it." _

"_You're stronger than I am, Katara," said the firebender. "Believe me, I understand wanting to kill him, but I'm glad you didn't."_

"_I just didn't have it in me," she said dejectedly. "I'm not like him."_

"_That's a good thing," Zuko replied quickly. "You're not a monster."_

_Katara shivered, pulling her knees up to her chin and crossing her arms atop them. "This place is full of them," she muttered bitterly. _

"_What about the kids?" he countered. "They're not monsters."_

_She gazed back into the fire as a low buzz overtook her thoughts. "But they will be," she said in a voice as frigid as the night air. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the firebender shift uneasily. He was as unnerved as she by the venom in her words._

"_Am I a monster, Katara?" he murmured, angling his head down to catch her gaze._

_She looked up from the crackling fire and studied his face. She searched his eyes—they were the same eyes as all the other monsters, but there was something different in his. His amber eyes lit up like the fire before them, but they were softer and gentler than the flame. She remembered them being wild with rage. She remembered fearing him and abhorring him. But now his eyes were kind and his presence was comforting, and it felt like it was a lifetime ago that she hated him. "You used to be."_


	8. Waiting in Vain

"Mai broke up with me," said Zuko one day during a healing session.

Katara let the water fall from her hands and looked at him. "Oh," she said finally, furrowing her brows as she processed his unsolicited statement. "I'm sorry." She pulled the water back over her hands and continued. She focused her mind on the pulsing water, hovering it over Zuko's chest as it began to shimmer with healing energy. "Aang and I broke up last week," Katara offered in response as she moved the water over him.

"How did that go?"

She resisted a shrug as she pressed the healing water onto his wounds. "Okay, I guess." Katara bent the element against his skin, running the energy through his wounds and letting it loosen his chi. "I mean, what can you say about a relationship that felt like it lasted a lifetime? Somehow you thought you were supposed to be together, it doesn't work out, and you're not sure what to feel."

Zuko groaned as the water hit a sore spot. "Empty?" he suggested through gritted teeth. "Like you're suddenly missing half of yourself?"

"Maybe," she murmured absently. Katara was silent as she pressed her hands gently against his skin. Zuko sucked in a breath, but relaxed as the soothing energy circulated throughout his body. Katara watched the sapphire glow absorbing into and rejuvenating his skin. She smiled when she saw the last of the bruises finally lift, and Zuko's pained expression loosened. "Is that it?" he asked after a time.

"For now," she replied, helping him sit upright. "There's still a bit of internal damage. I can feel some blockages."

"So can I," said the firebender, grunting on cue and gripping his abdomen. "It's like there's a dagger stuck in there sometimes."

"Sorry about that. There's nothing else I can do right now," Katara said with a shrug. "We'll have to wait until the full moon. I'll try to unblock the rest of your chi with bloodbending."

He eyed her. "Is that going to hurt?"

"Probably," she responded, stifling a grin.

Katara watched him as he shifted uncomfortably on the lounge, trying to find a sitting position that didn't give him a bolt of pain. She searched her mind for something to lighten the mood. "You know, Aang actually was convinced that you and I were—"

"An item?" Zuko guessed.

"Yeah." Katara started to laugh, recalling its absurdity. "Can you believe that?"

The Fire Lord shared her laughter. "Really? Wow." He smirked as he added, "It took me this long just to get you to stop hating me. Remember when you wanted to kill me?"

Katara gasped emphatically as heat flooded her face. "I never wanted to kill you!" she replied. After a thought, she added sheepishly, "I just wanted to scare you a little bit."

"Well, it worked." He chuckled lightheartedly, perhaps taking joy in her embarrassment. "Good times."

"Has there been any news on the attackers?" Katara asked, abruptly switching the topic.

The jovial look left his scarred face. "No," Zuko replied, seemingly embarrassed. "My agents couldn't find anything or anyone. It's like the group just vanished into thin air."

"They'll be back," the waterbender said grimly.

Zuko stared into the distance. "Tell me about this Hana."

"_Hama_," Katara corrected. "She was a waterbender from the Southern Water Tribe. Many years ago, she and a bunch of other Southern benders were captured and imprisoned." She paused, watching for Zuko's response as she added, "But she later escaped."

Surprise flickered across his face. "How? Fire Nation prisons are impenetrable."

"Bloodbending." Katara shivered at the thought. "She, uh...she figured out how to bend the liquid—the blood—in the elephant-rats in the prison and manipulate them. Then she used that on the guards." She swallowed against the lump that was forming in her throat. Her memories of that wicked waterbender were fresh in her mind, even nearly three years later. Katara's heart dropped like a stone as she recalled the destructive devices of her element. She gritted her teeth, detesting Hama for corrupting the art of waterbending. "I learned how to bloodbend from her. I thought it was a great resource at first, but after experiencing it for myself..." Katara paused, suddenly feeling a little nauseous at the memory. How she wished she could erase that part of her history, and wished she'd have never learned that corrupted art. "I swore that I would never use it. Fighting people is one thing, but to actually control them like that, to have that kind of power..."

* * *

Zuko watched helplessly as Katara grappled with her memories. It was deeply unsettling to see the valiant waterbender in such distress as she recounted the past, and Zuko longed to be able to comfort her. He easily remembered his own near-fatal bloodbending encounter a few weeks back, and remembered watching in horror as Katara bloodbent the murderous Yon Rha some years ago. Katara was a fierce but benevolent spirit, and Zuko knew the dark art of bloodbending went against everything she believed. He could see now the trauma it created in her, could see how much she hated and feared having such a power, and he desperately wished he knew how to take away that pain.

"You know," he said, leaning forward and eyeing the fresh sunlight pouring through the window, "I've been going stir-crazy the last few weeks. Would you want to join me out in the garden?" He looked at her and waited for an answer. Katara met his gaze, but there was a faraway look in her eyes, like her mind was still stuck in her memories. "I bet the turtle-ducks are hungry," added Zuko with a smile.

Katara blinked as she returned to reality. After taking a moment to absorb what Zuko had said, she too smiled. "Yeah, okay. That sounds like a good idea."

It was a beautiful early afternoon. Sunlight splashed onto the clouds smudged against the sapphire sky, and the colourful blossoms set the garden aglow. Zuko delighted in hearing the breaths that escaped Katara's lips as she took in the scene. "Nice, huh?" he prodded.

"It's gorgeous," the waterbender said in awe.

He staggered to the far side of the garden, towards the private park. The front of the gardens were manicured and were the site of many public dealings, but farther behind the palace was a quieter and more natural setting. It was where the Fire Lords and their sages meditated, and where Zuko used to feed the turtle-ducks with his mother and sister (when she was a little less insane). Zuko seldom liked to visit this place because of its history. He hated thinking of his mother and the fate she suffered at the hands of his own father. He hated being his father's son, growing up in the shadow of a tyrant. Zuko often found himself lost in such moments of self-loathing, especially while recuperating from his most recent injuries.

"_Zuko, you're not your father,"_ Katara would assure him. _"Ozai was a treacherous coward, but you are brave and strong and kind. In spite of everything, you found your own path, you helped end the war, and you're rebuilding an entire nation. And you've made a lot of people proud. You've made _me_ proud."_

Katara followed him to the pond and helped him to the ground. Soon she knelt beside him and waited. Slowly a small family of turtle-ducks paddled out, squawking as they ran right up to Zuko. He withdrew a small pouch from his pocket and opened it to reveal a mix of seeds and specially baked bread rolls. He held them out to Katara and offered the first pick. She took a roll, broke off a piece, and gingerly held it out towards the pond. She clicked her tongue to draw the attention of the turtle-ducks, but they were more attracted to Zuko and his mother lode of bread. He spotted a flicker of disappointment in Katara's face, so he broke off a piece of bread and tossed it in front of her.

"What—?" Her question was cut off as a swarm of ducklings rushed her. She was stunned for a second, then burst into laughter as the little creatures gobbled up the bread Zuko had thrown and begged Katara for more. The waterbender surrendered her bread roll, letting it fall from her hand and watching as the ducklings dashed for it.

Zuko smiled to himself as he watched, savoring the sound of Katara's laugh, and the way her face crinkled when she smiled, and the joyous glimmer in her sapphire eyes...

Something within him stirred, and in this moment he realised how truly fond of Katara he had become. Of course, Zuko admired her immensely and was grateful for her aid, but there was something much greater at work. He found himself craving her presence, and when she wasn't near he didn't feel quite the same. They'd spent a great amount of time together lately, talking and reconnecting and filling in what their previously strained acquaintanceship forbade. They shared all of their deepest feelings, regrets, fears, and traumas, shared all the darkest things which had never before been unveiled to another. Katara listened patiently and openly as Zuko unraveled his entire history before her, and he in turn listened to hers. Each was quietly in awe of the other's resolve and their ability to overcome their adversity, and each gained a new respect for the other.

Zuko looked on as Katara played with the turtle-ducks, and he realised how content he was. He had managed to salvage some good moments from his childhood and thought about them often. But now it occurred to him that he was never as happy, genuinely _happy,_ as he was in this moment. Observing the glee in Katara's face, the delicate way she handled the turtle-ducks, her melodic laughter—

And the way she seemed to glow as the sunlight hit her, highlighting the gloss of her chestnut-coloured hair and illuminating her blue Water Tribe dress against the dark red backdrop of the Fire Nation palace—

It all looked perfectly natural, perfectly in place, almost as if this was where she belonged.

Some time passed—Zuko wasn't sure how long it had been—and the Sun hung lower in the sky. They had run out of bread to toss and things to say, and reluctantly decided it was time to head back in. Zuko had a meeting in the morning, he reminded himself, and Katara had to reconvene with Aang and Toph. Katara rose to her feet first, and when she leaned down to offer her arm, Zuko insisted on getting up on his own. He struggled to his feet, forgetting how stiff his muscles still were. Katara turned to lead the way back into the palace. Zuko followed at first, then fell back and hovered near a patch of fire lilies. When she hadn't stopped to check on him, he quickly plucked a flower, hid it behind his back, and caught up to Katara.

When they crossed the threshold into the parlour, his eyes hadn't adjusted from the sunlight. The room was dim, and the outer edges of his vision seemed to glare, but he made out a round figure seated in the parlour.

"Uncle?" asked Zuko as the now familiar figure came into view.

The old man stood and turned, a grin appearing on his face when his nephew neared. "Zuko," he exclaimed, at first opening his arms for an embrace but pulling back as he sized up the young Fire Lord. "You're hurt. What happened to you?"

Zuko exchanged a glance with Katara, hoping she would respond eloquently for him. When she didn't, the firebender said simply, "There was an attack a while back. It's no big deal." He gave a stiff, awkward shrug.

Iroh's face wrinkled with concern. "Why haven't I heard of this?"

Zuko glanced down for a moment, feeling a twinge of guilt for keeping his uncle out of the loop. "We've been trying to keep it quiet. We still haven't found the attackers, and we don't want to stir the public into a frenzy."

The elderly firebender tilted his head as he considered this, and nodded approvingly. "Wise move," he acknowledged before pulling a face and adding, "But you still should have informed me."

"Next time," Zuko said with half a smirk.

"What brings you here now?" asked the young Fire Lord.

"I just came down to make sure everything was okay," replied his uncle, "and to help you with the military meetings."

Zuko gave a dismissive chuckle. "I think I've got it handled, Uncle."

"No, you don't. Who's the general here? You might have thousands of men at your command, but you still don't know what to do with them."

Zuko's cheeks started to redden, and he opened his mouth to argue, but quickly thought better of it. His uncle was right—he was always right. Zuko admitted to himself that he still faltered sometimes in his leadership, and his uncle had more experience than anyone on his staff. He also had to admit that he had not fully recovered from his injuries yet, and wasn't always as sharp as he should be.

Iroh grinned, accepting his nephew's silence as surrender. "We should outline our plans before tomorrow's meeting."

Katara stepped up beside Zuko and said, "I'll leave you alone, then." Before turning away, she she advised gently, "Don't overdo it tomorrow, Zuko—take it easy. Remember to listen to your body. If something hurts or doesn't feel right, let me know and we'll schedule a healing session."

"Thanks, Katara."

She touched his shoulder lightly before disappearing down the hall.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zuko noticed his uncle also watching her leave. When she was gone and Zuko turned back to Iroh, he quickly started to feel warm with embarrassment, especially as a curious, knowing glint trickled into the old man's deep, golden eyes. "What?" Zuko cautiously asked.

Iroh's grin seemed to broaden, and he angled his head peculiarly, but whatever was on his mind was determined to stay there. "Nothing," he answered innocently. "Now, about those outlines. Let's discuss it in the boardroom, shall we?"

* * *

Iroh let his nephew lead him into a large, bunker-like room at the end of the left corridor. He had been in the council chambers hundreds of times, and it always took him back to when he was a war general. Iroh had a bittersweet feeling about his history. He was proud of his accomplishments, but ashamed of having been on the wrong side of the war. He deeply regretted his role in the war and all the devastation he contributed, but perhaps what Iroh hated most was that he couldn't see the damage until it affected him. The ruins of the war were none of his concern—they happened outside of his world. But when he lost his son in the fray, his eyes were opened, and Iroh saw then everything that was wrong. He partially blamed himself for the death of his son for many years. If he hadn't gotten so swept up in his loyalty to the Fire Nation, he would have seen the havoc it was creating, he would have tried to stop it, and his son would still be alive.

"Uncle."

Iroh roused from his thoughts and turned to his caller. "Yes, sorry."

"You were thinking about the war again, weren't you?" his nephew asked sympathetically, casting his gaze around the various nostalgic effects in the room.

The elder frowned and gave a single nod. "Yes."

"I do that too," Zuko said somberly. "I wish none of it had ever happened." He raised his eyes to the Fire Nation map mounted on the wall, staring at it defiantly as he added, "Everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how we correct them."

Iroh glanced at him, surprised to have heard that come from the troubled young Fire Lord. _He's certainly come a very long way,_ he thought fondly. "How have you been these last few weeks, nephew?"

"I could be worse," Zuko replied plainly. "If it weren't for Katara, I wouldn't be here at all. She's been amazing," he finished with a soft chuckle.

"You've become good friends, I gather," Iroh ventured lightly, putting a careful emphasis on 'friends.'

"You could say that, yeah."

"Maybe a little bit more, Zuko?"

A trace of alarm flickered across his nephew's face. "What do you mean?" he asked.

Iroh grinned, having already received his answer. "I was watching you in the garden. You seem very happy together."

Zuko's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "We're not together," he said, his voice taking on a defensive inflection. "We're just friends."

Iroh studied him intensely. Zuko had become good at concealing his emotions, but Iroh always knew better. The fresh, rosy tint in his cheeks, a certain gleam in his eyes, and the way the corners of his lips threatened to curve up into a smile, and Iroh knew. "I don't remember the last time I've seen you look so well and happy, Zuko," said the elder, watching as the Fire Lord allowed himself to relax and smile. "When were you planning on giving her that fire lily?"

"Oh." Zuko reached back and pulled the flower from his belt. His eyebrows furrowed sadly when he saw the lily had crumpled a little. "I forgot about it."

"You really like her, Zuko," said Iroh, not even pretending to frame as a question what he could plainly see.

"I think so," the younger firebender responded, turning the fire lily over in his hands. "I never expected this to happen." He sighed. "We've spent our whole lives as enemies. Then I ended up joining the Avatar and trying to prove myself, and she still hated me." As Zuko studied the lily, he bit his lip and laughed weakly. "I remember when all I ever wanted was for her to stop hating me. All I wanted was to redeem myself for her. And when I did, I was over the moon." He looked away from the flower as he added quietly, "Now, all I want is to be closer to her, and I don't know how."

"Have you tried just talking to her?" Iroh asked. "She's a sensitive, intuitive young lady, and talking can work wonders."

His nephew shook his head. "Earlier today, she laughed at the thought of us being together. She thinks it's ridiculous. I could never talk to her about this." Zuko was quiet for a couple of minutes as he played with his thoughts. Then, he looked back up to his uncle with an indiscernible facial expression. Iroh couldn't tell whether he looked giddy or desperate. "I'm not even sure it's real," he said in a lighter tone, sounding almost relieved at this thought. "Maybe I'm just not thinking straight. I have been sick for the last few weeks—"

Iroh frowned as he listened to his nephew try to shove away his feelings. "Zuko, it's not healthy to dismiss something like this. This is the happiest I've ever seen you. I can see it vividly in your face—and in hers. I think she likes you, too, but she may be as afraid as you are."

Zuko kept his eyes fixed on the flower in his hands, and Iroh couldn't tell whether he was listening. Iroh leaned in, trying to get him to meet his eyes. "Talk to her, Zuko."

Finally, his nephew did meet his gaze, and gave a curt nod. "Okay," he said in a small voice. "I will."

Iroh leaned back, content in his victory. He rose to his feet and ambled to a desk against the wall, pulling open a drawer and digging through its papers. He took a few scrolls back to his nephew, and started unraveling them. "Now, about those outlines..."


	9. Don't Ask Me Why

_ "I'm sorry, by the way."_

_She raised her brows and turned towards him. "What for?" she asked, setting aside her tea._

"_For yelling at you," Aang responded with a sigh, "back in the desert."_

_The earthbender stifled a laugh. "Aang, you don't have to apologise for that."_

"_Yes, I do."_

"_It was a year ago, anyway." With a shrug, Toph added, "I got over it."_

"_I know, but—" He took a breath. "It's something I've been holding onto. I keep replaying that period in my mind. I remember the things I felt." Aang's voice was suddenly closer, and she knew he had turned to face her. "And the things I said. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. We wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for you."_

"_Aang, stop," she said, holding out her palm. "There was a lot of crap going on then. We all said and did things we regret. But I never blamed you for exploding like that. I didn't like it, but..." Toph paused as she pulled on her memories. She frowned as she let herself relive that moment—as she let herself relive the muscles that ached from holding up the sinking library and the heart that ached from feeling like she'd failed the Avatar. A part of Toph longed to tell Aang just how terrible she had already felt, and how much worse he had made her feel, but she resisted. Instead, she swallowed those words, and sighed. "But I know you were going through a lot, so I already forgave you."_

_ He echoed her sigh, but his was deeper with relief. "Thanks, Toph. I _was_ miserable. I mean, I—losing Appa was like losing myself. After what the Fire Nation did to my people..." Aang's voice started to crumble as he said, "Appa was all I had left in this world."_

"_But you still had Katara and Sokka—and me," she added in a shy voice. Toph hesitantly reached out and took his hand in hers. "And I'm always here for you." Butterflies filled her belly and heat filled her face when he unexpectedly placed his hand atop hers and squeezed. _

"_I know," Aang murmured._

_Time seemed to stand still as Toph's mind went numb and her heart raced, and she was scarcely aware of anything but their joined hands. She could practically feel her heart beating in her throat, and she didn't know why she was so tense and anxious. After what seemed like an eternity, Toph managed to speak. "Aang..."_

"_Oh," the Avatar almost yelped, quickly pulling his hands from hers, leaving her feeling cold and empty. "Sorry."_

_Toph didn't know how to respond. She wasn't sure she would be able to say "it's okay" because that didn't seem entirely true. She didn't want Aang to feel sorry for having held her hand. In fact, the only thing she wanted right now was to have his hands again. Toph couldn't begin to make her mind work to untangle her thoughts and emotions. All she knew was that her hands felt naked without his. _

"_Anyway," Aang started, and Toph knew he could feel the awkwardness in the air. "Thanks."_

"_Oh, uh..." Toph finally snapped herself back to reality. She flung her hands to her sides and straightened her back. She willed her voice to be strong and nonchalant as she said, "Anytime, Twinkletoes."_

_ Later that day, she set aside some time to replay that peculiar event. Toph tried to analyse it and make sense of what was going through her head, and she was as clueless as before. She practically lost her mind when Aang put his hand over hers, and she couldn't figure out why. It was just Aang, and they were just hands. They've held hands before without it meaning anything. Toph had never felt anything before. It was just that second, and all of a sudden..._

_...all of a sudden, it was like she couldn't live without Aang. It was like she could be content to hold his hand for the rest of their lives. Toph remembered how acutely aware she was of their closeness, and how it felt like it was still too much distance. She remembered how rapidly her heart was beating, but she didn't want it to stop. She was breathless, frightened, anxious in that moment, and she loved it...and she loved Aang._

No!_ she mentally screamed at herself. _Stop thinking like that. He's got Katara, and they're your friends, and you can't..._ She couldn't finish her thought. She bit her lip as her eyes moistened with tears. _You just can't, Toph.

_The earthbender heaved a shuddering sigh. She uncurled her fingers, replaying that moment and imagining his hand in hers one last time. They were friends. Nothing less...and nothing more. Toph packed away the event and buried it far in the recesses of her mind, determined to let it rot like the butterflies in her heart._


	10. I've Tried Everything

She heard the stiff, uneven footsteps before he entered the room, and jumped up to pour out a cup of tea for him. She smiled when they locked eyes, and he ambled to a chair. "How was the meeting?" asked Katara as she reached into the cupboard.

"It was okay," the Fire Lord responded.

Katara handed him a cup of jasmine tea before pouring one for herself. "Just okay?"

He took a sip and shrugged. "It went well. We're finally pulling out of the colonies," said Zuko. "They're going to form a new government independent of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom."

"Wow," Katara breathed. "That's great." She sat down at the table and waved her hand over the tea, stirring it with waterbending.

"Yeah," he replied with a proud smile.

Katara held her hands against the porcelain cup, relishing the heat against the chilly air of the evening.

She curiously studied Zuko, who seemed tense and kept averting his gaze. "Is something wrong, Zuko?" she murmured. "You seem..."

"I'm fine," he replied hastily, still avoiding her eyes. "Just...thinking about..." The firebender trailed off, grasping for the next word. "Stuff," he finished weakly.

Katara narrowed her eyes at him briefly, scrutinising his expression and trying to figure out what he was hiding. "Oh," she chirped innocently, "what stuff?"

"Just stuff," Zuko repeated. After a puzzling ten minutes of silence, he finally lifted his head from his cup and met her eyes. They stared at each other for some time. Katara found his eyes searching hers and his mouth trying to work up something to say, but every time his lips quivered like he might finally speak, he kept quiet instead. Katara tired of waiting for him to say something. "Zuko," she said gently, "I know something's bothering you. If you need to talk or anything, I'm here."

Zuko struggled to hold her gaze. She noticed he had suddenly paled, and seemed to be short of breath. "Are you feeling all right?" Katara asked nervously, already reaching for her water skin.

"I'm fine," he murmured shakily. Zuko glanced down into his tea, and his voice strengthened as he said again, "I'm fine. I..." He shook his head and rose from the table. "I can't talk about it right now."

Katara gaped at him, thoroughly baffled and worried. "Why not?"

The Fire Lord didn't respond as he shuffled out of the room. Katara leapt to her feet and rushed to the doorway after him, but he had already disappeared down a corridor. "Zuko?" she called, but no one answered.

* * *

Katara closed the door behind her and collapsed onto the bed. _What's wrong with Zuko?_ she wondered. _Is he sick again? Did something bad happen at the war meeting?_ She couldn't remember ever having seen him look that anxious. He was practically scared sick. _The full moon is next week,_ she realised. _Is he thinking about another attack?_ She thought about his appearance and demeanor. She knew when he first walked in that there was something he was hiding, but it seemed the more Zuko considered talking about it, the more afraid he became. What was he afraid of talking about? Katara was certainly no stranger to peril, and the Fire Lord knew that. If there was something troubling, or if he was worried about an impending attack, why wouldn't he share that with her? They had been sharing so much lately. They had become such close friends. For Zuko to leave Katara in the dark like this was greatly distressing.

Katara surrendered her thoughts for the night. She changed into her nightwear, fluffed up her pillows and folded over her blankets. She laid down her head, willing her eyes to close and her mind to calm.

She didn't know how long she had slept before a clamor outside her room pulled her awake. Katara sprang upright, holding her breath as she listened. More clamor—furniture crashing, wood splintering, fists flying, people yelling and grunting. One cry in particular reached her ears, and Katara bolted out of the room in time to see Zuko being thrown back by an angry blast of fire. He staggered and collapsed to the ground, little wisps of flame eating away at the edges of his clothing. "Zuko!" gasped Katara, diving back into her room and grabbing her water skin. She popped open the top and drew out a few drops of water, bending them to his robes and snuffing out the flames. She scurried beside him and ushered him to his feet, quickly running her eyes over him and observing no serious injuries. "I'm okay," Zuko breathed as he pulled himself together.

Out of the corner of her eye, Katara saw three dark figures speeding towards them. They were lithe and nimble, and they were wrapped in black. She couldn't see their features, and their eyes all seemed grey. One of them lunged toward her and unleashed a ball of fire. Katara quickly dove out of its way and retaliated with a bolt of water. She bent a stream around the firebender's arm, then pulled back and wrenched him to the ground. Another figure rushed Zuko, drawing up a fist aimed for the Fire Lord, but Zuko swung out and deflected the attack. He pushed the figure back, and leapt into a firebending stance. The Fire Lord threw his fist, but nothing followed. He tried again, adjusting his stance slightly and attempting to throw a firebending punch, but no fire came. Katara saw panic fill his face, and as a burst of flame shot towards him his eyes lit up with fear. Katara dashed in front of him, whipping out a stream of water. Within a blink, the stream was broken, and another figure came before them. They gathered the remnants of Katara's waterbending attack, pulling the stream back together and whipping it against Katara, knocking the breath out of her lungs as she rolled to the ground.

_A firebender and a waterbender..._ Katara thought, mentally sizing up their attackers. Zuko leapt to his feet and hurled himself at an attacker, who humoured him and allowed him a clumsy swing before barreling into him. Katara watched him hit the floor like a rag doll, bruised and breathless and powerless. Her heart ached to see Zuko so defeated. She swallowed hard and focused her attention on the attackers, drawing out a ribbon of water and crunching it into shards of ice. Katara moved her hands out towards them—and froze. The muscles in her arms wrenched tight. She willed herself to move, but she was no longer in her own power. One of the masked figures approached her, their arms angled towards her. She could feel the blood in her body churning, and it felt like her veins were being twisted. Then the figure curled their fingers and raised their hands, and Katara's back arched stiffly and her body was pulled straight. She stared at the figure who was bloodbending her, and slid her eyes towards Zuko, who looked on horrified and helpless. Suddenly he screamed as his body was wrenched upwards, and he too fell under the bloodbender's spell. Katara looked back to the figures, who were now all in the same stance as the first bloodbender. Terror flooded her as she realised they were all in total control..._and it's not even the full moon!_

Katara shut her eyes and took a deep breath. _But they're not the only bloodbenders here,_ she thought, throwing her senses inward and searching for that dark power within herself. She found it nestled deep inside—as she had promised herself she would never use it again—and called it forth. Katara's blood warmed as she summoned the corrupted art, and she could feel movement returning to her, loosening the bloodbenders' hold on her. She directed her power on herself and started to reclaim her will. Inch by inch, Katara broke free, feeling the dark power pulsing through and releasing her. At last, the waterbender took back her power, and she assumed a defensive bending stance. The figures stepped back, momentarily stunned that Katara had broken their bloodbending spell. She looked back to Zuko, who was still in their control.

The waterbender started to lunge forward with a whip of water. One of the figures took a quick step back, and Zuko yelped as he was yanked towards them. Katara threw a glance to him, and the figures took notice. "Maybe _you_ can escape bloodbending," they hissed, "but _he_ can't." With that, all three figures pulled their arms into their bodies, and Zuko flew helplessly towards them. One of the bloodbenders reached out and caught the Fire Lord by the neck. Sheer panic ripped through Katara, and she moved towards them. "Don't hurt him!" She steadied herself and lifted her arm, trying to concentrate on Zuko's blood. She attempted to manipulate him out of the attackers' power, but their hold on him was too strong. Katara saw the bloodbender's fingers tighten around Zuko's neck, and she frantically released a wave of water, hurtling it towards the figures. Suddenly, Katara's arm stiffened and the water dissipated. Her arm wrenched behind her and her knees buckled, and she dropped to the ground. "Katara...!" a voice gurgled. She looked up to see Zuko also being wrenched to the ground, his limbs being bent in unnatural ways. The colour was rapidly draining from his face and his eyes were wide and bloodshot. Katara watched in horror as the Fire Lord collapsed, limp, pale, and gasping for air. The figures stood over him while he struggled to breathe; then, their forms vanished.

Katara regained a little bit of strength, and pulled herself to Zuko's side. Tears came to her eyes immediately when she got close and saw exactly how bad the young Fire Lord's condition was, and how much worse it was getting. His skin had lost all colour save for a bluish tint, and his eyes were glazed over with agony. Katara carefully placed her hand on his chest, and she could feel the beat of his heart and the pulse of his blood slowing. In between ragged breaths, Zuko struggled to speak. But the pain was too much, and no words could come.

"I'm sorry, Zuko," Katara murmured, taking what little strength she had left to curl up beside him. The pain in his eyes softened, and Katara's heart sank to think that, soon, she would never be able to look into his eyes again. She would never hear his husky laugh again, or share a cup of tea with him, or feed the turtle-ducks with him in the garden. All of their shared memories, the good and the bad, hung in the small space between them. With every shallow, grating breath, their memories fell away, leaving Katara and Zuko alone in darkness. Katara felt his heartbeat falter, and knew that he was leaving her. She gingerly took his hand in hers and closed her eyes, begging the spirits that, if he should die, she would die with him. Katara squeezed his hand as if she could hold him in her world, and willed herself not to cry. But the tears came anyway, and when Zuko's hand finally fell from hers, her heart was shattered, and the world around her crumbled to pieces.


	11. Conditioned Soul

Her own screams ripped her from her sleep, and she hurled herself forward before she had the chance to open her eyes. Sweat was pouring down her face as she struggled for a steady breath. Katara threw her gaze about in a frenzy, her mind still locked in her nightmare. She sprang out of bed and ran into the corridor in time to hear a voice calling for her.

"Katara?!" cried the Fire Lord.

She bolted down the hallway and almost crashed into him. Zuko grabbed her arms and kept her upright. "Katara, are you okay?" he asked in a panic.

She gaped wildly at him as vivid memories from the nightmare still clouded her perception, and her mind struggled to process what her eyes could plainly see. Zuko held her gaze steadily as he waited for her to gather herself. "Me?!" she gasped. "What about you? You were—I thought you were in trouble!"

"No, I thought _you _were in trouble," he replied. "You started screaming. I came running down to make sure you were okay."

Finally, Katara's head cleared, and as she stared at the Fire Lord, who was bleary-eyed and tense but otherwise unharmed, she became giddy with relief. She threw her arms around him and laughed, as if in momentary delirium. "I—I had the most terrible dream," she confessed, pulling back and meeting his eyes. "There was another attack and..." Tears stung her eyes as the memories rushed back. Katara hastily shoved them away and continued softly, "I couldn't save you."

At that, several footsteps came storming down the corridor, and three guards surrounded Zuko protectively. "Is everything all right, Fire Lord?" one of them asked in a rumbling voice.

Zuko exchanged a glance with Katara before moving in front of her to face the head guard. "Everything's fine, Gan. I just had a bad dream."

The guard slid his eyes from Zuko to Katara, who was still a bit visibly stressed and gave an awkward grin.

The Fire Lord cleared his throat. "Thank you, Gan," he said strongly. "You may return to your post."

The guard's eyes snapped back to Zuko, and he bowed. "As you wish." He waved for the others to follow, and they disappeared down the corridor.

Katara heaved a shaky sigh. "Thanks for not letting me embarrass myself more than I already have," she said sheepishly.

Zuko patted her shoulder. "It's okay. They're used to me having nightmares."

Katara was finally clearing her head of her own nightmare, but now couldn't stop wondering about the guard. "Why was that guy staring at me?" she murmured.

The firebender shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe he was getting the wrong idea or something. You know you can't trust us teenagers," he finished with a smirk.

Katara chuckled weakly, though she still couldn't shake her discomfort. She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. She could feel Zuko's concerned gaze on her. "You should go back to bed," he murmured. "It's late."

The waterbender shook her head. "I'm going to stay up for a bit." There was no way she would go back to sleep and risk returning to her nightmare.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." When she saw a glint of worry in his eyes, she added with a small smile, "I'll be fine, Zuko. Go back to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

"All right." Zuko gripped her shoulder comfortingly before turning down the hall. "Good night, Katara."

"Good night," she called after him.

* * *

She made her way through the parlour and past the boardroom. Katara opened an iron door, took a blazing torch, and descended the steps into the dim library. She hovered near a chair against the back wall and placed the torch in a nearby holder before approaching a bookcase and selecting a few items at random. She returned to her seat, read off the titles, and cracked open the first, _The Lion-Turtle, the Sage, and the Closet._ After the first few pages, tedium set in, and Katara's mind numbed to the words on the page. But still she sat, staring mindlessly at the open book, if only because it provided her refuge from her dreams.

Suddenly, soft footsteps and rustling robes stirred her awake. She didn't remember closing her eyes, but now they flew open, and she leapt out of the chair. Firelight descended the stone steps, and she recognised the glowing wrinkled face before the voice. "You look like you could use some company."

Katara gave a sigh of relief. "General Iroh."

His smile was apologetic and kind as he replied, "I'm sorry if I scared you." The elderly firebender made his way to a chair opposite hers, and extinguished the flame he held. "Just call me 'Iroh.' My general days are long behind me." His words echoed with a certain peaceful melancholy. Then he frowned at her. "What are you still doing up? It's way past midnight."

Katara sighed as she fell back into her chair. "I couldn't sleep."

"Bad dream?" he surmised.

"Yeah."

Iroh set aside the tome he had brought and looked at her patiently. "Anything you need to talk about?"

Katara studied him for several seconds, debating whether she wanted to get into it. "I guess so." She took a deep breath, steadying herself before reaching into her memory. "I...I dreamt that there was another attack," Katara began. "The bloodbenders came back, and Zuko couldn't firebend. I did what I could, but they were stronger. They had us in their total control. They got ahold of Zuko, and..." Katara's breath shortened, and she started to tremble as she relived her nightmare. She took in a sharp gasp, and the rest of the words tumbled out of her mouth uncontrollably. "They got him, and I couldn't save him and I—I lost him," she finished with a sob, burying her face in her hands. Katara's heart felt like it was suffocating as she recalled the helplessness and devastation she felt watching Zuko die beside her. The feelings were so fresh and strong that she struggled to remind herself it wasn't real. It took her many moments to rein herself in and pull her mind out of her nightmare. Finally, she lifted her eyes and met Iroh's sympathetic gaze.

"What are you feeling right now?" the old firebender asked gently, furrowing his brows with concern.

Katara swallowed hard. "Terrified," she murmured shakily. "It felt so real and I have to keep reminding myself that it wasn't. I remember how..." She grappled for the right word to describe the intense ruin she felt. "...how _destroyed_ I was in the dream, like I would be nothing without him." The description suddenly hit her hard, and a realisation lit up in her mind. Katara froze as she absorbed what she had said: _I would be nothing without him._ She closed her eyes and put her head back, breathing deeply as the words floated in her mind. Katara realised in that moment how close she had become to Zuko, how much he meant to her, and how truly heartbroken she was when she thought he might be gone.

* * *

The realisations visibly working through Katara's mind reminded him so much of what Zuko had gone through the previous morning. Iroh secretly delighted in finding all the same emotions in her face as he had in Zuko's: the bewilderment, the anxiety, the relief when they had assembled their emotional puzzle and the new confusion it created. Iroh held his hand out towards the torch mounted on the wall and willed its flame to grow, casting a wider light across Katara's face. He couldn't find the rosy tint in her cheeks or the certain gleam in her eyes; instead, he found soft wrinkles carved by anguish and conflict, and deep circles under her eyes from lack of rest. Her face was tired and her eyes were desperate and sorrowful. Her breathing had begun to deepen with the threat of sleep, and Iroh bent and dimmed the firelight. The old firebender debated whether to remain with her or leave her be. Something told him that the last thing the young Water Tribe woman needed was to be alone. Iroh grabbed his tome, leaned back, and turned the page.


End file.
